Our Eppic Life
Our Eppic Life
Eppisode 17-Journey Through Parenthood
Are you ready for a hilarious yet insightful journey into parenthood? Buckle up as we share with you some of our most entertaining and enlightening stories. From assembling chairs in our new building to experiencing the whimsical sensation of our baby moving inside, this episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, guaranteed to entertain and educate.
Ever pondered the importance of relishing your marriage before starting a family or the challenges of merging different parenting styles? We share our light-hearted yet thought-provoking perspectives. As parents, we navigate through the world of discipline; striving to be firm yet kind, understanding the uniqueness of our kids and how they respond differently to love and correction. From our remarkable journey of expecting a baby, to the unexpected revelations we had on our Disney trip, we blend humor, sincerity, and knowledge into this episode.
As we venture further, we emphasize the essence of protecting our children, the balancing act between hands-on and hands-off parenting, and the importance of setting boundaries. We discuss our stand on maintaining our children's innocence and how to be vigilant about what they're exposed to. Finally, we reflect on the importance of resolving disputes in our children's presence and the value of speaking positively about your spouse. So sit back, relax, and join us on this extraordinary parenting adventure.
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Hey everyone, could I be wearing any more clothes, friends?
Speaker 2:We've been watching friends Chandler's the best.
Speaker 1:Chandler's, he had the most struggles, don't they all? No, he had the most struggles out of all the friends.
Speaker 2:What is up, fam and friends? Framers Sounds like framers, framers, framers, framers.
Speaker 1:Framers, framers, framers, framers.
Speaker 2:Framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers, framers. We got two shout outs today.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:First one is Ben.
Speaker 1:Ben Neufeld, my cousin Yep. Thanks for listening, thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. Nope, ben has listened to every single one and he's our number one fan.
Speaker 2:Number one advocate. That's not uh, that's, that's, that's uh.
Speaker 1:Well, that's tough to say too, because Ryan has brought listen to all of our very loyal. So he's number one fan too and junior juniors.
Speaker 2:Junior and raft is yeah rafts.
Speaker 1:They're all number one fans.
Speaker 2:They're all guys. Thanks for being our number ones.
Speaker 1:We can all be number ones. Well, i'm not picking, i'll pick oh dear. All right, let's go.
Speaker 2:One more shout out. I'll let you read it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and this is a shout out to Raf, and he he Request to Raf not to wrap from Raf. This is a request shout out. It says I'm gonna read it the best quote. Oh, quote for quote, quote. Yeah, i'll read it as best as I can My nephews for being absolute Riz kings and my sister for being a crackin like and mother.
Speaker 2:Which is Memphis, roman and Heather.
Speaker 1:Is it yes?
Speaker 2:okay, which they are all awesome. She's crack. That's rafts way of saying that.
Speaker 1:I'm just not sure what crack a lacking means. We can ask him, like. It sounds like she has no crackers.
Speaker 2:We gotta just at one time We will have just Raf on the podcast and then you'll get to know who this guy is.
Speaker 1:And why he talks Why he talks this way.
Speaker 2:He's a great guy, though.
Speaker 1:You say why he talks this way, as if he had an accident, and this is why he talks like Absolute Riz and crack a lacking.
Speaker 2:I don't talk like that in my everyday life.
Speaker 1:I don't, i mean, i do, but you do in companies like certain people's company. Yes, Yes, i wouldn't be talking to, like my pastor, one-on-one pastoral meeting and just be a what's up a mother crack. I'm back in the but yeah, it depends on who I'm around.
Speaker 2:Yes, highlight. Well, first, welcome back. Thanks for tuning in those of you that tune.
Speaker 1:Thanks for turning that dial.
Speaker 2:At one time or another we'll have cameras and so you can actually see us.
Speaker 1:But yes, soon Later when you sponsor us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really on you Um. Go ahead.
Speaker 1:Highlight of the day or the week highlight of the day, the highlight of the week we built. We were putting chairs into the new building not, we is in the two of us. No, no, no, sorry, junior and I We walked in, we just told everybody get out and we said we're getting this built and We just went in there. We went, ham, we had our first church service or worship service. We sang days of Elijah. I may or may not have lost my shirt and was just in the spirit.
Speaker 1:The pastor Jake and got some footage of it, but it was just, it was.
Speaker 2:Well, it was just.
Speaker 1:I don't think the people are ready for it yet, but there's a. There is a date that we've decided that we will release it to the public and let's stay tuned.
Speaker 2:So stay tuned, yeah.
Speaker 1:I won't tell you when, but stay tuned because It's gonna blow your car or pastor Jay. Or us, and it will just be on there one day and you'll just, you'll get it, you'll be a part of it, but anyways, yeah, that was tons of fun. The new building is amazing. It's so big For all you people out there there, like why, does the church need to be so big?
Speaker 1:We could do so much more with mother. I shut up. What? who's real? first off, first off. How can you look at me and be like why does the place where people gather to worship Jesus have to be so big? Why is there so many people in here worshiping Jesus? Shut up, that's all I gotta say. Okay, that's it.
Speaker 2:All right, just shut up, just come, just show up, See what the Lord is all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but shut up when you come, just kidding kind of anyways.
Speaker 2:Topic for another. True facts, the truth. I Always have a hard time, like I. I need to prepare ahead of time, at least in the day, to think of a highlight I, because I never think of one in the moment. But the thing that currently makes me happy is feeling the baby move all the time. The kicks are getting very aggressive, or whatever they are. They're not all kicks. Sometimes it's the elbow cut across, like that grazes across your belly, or a hand or the body flipping over.
Speaker 1:That's weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is weird.
Speaker 1:How can you tell the difference between a foot and an elbow?
Speaker 2:Based on how big the movement is. It's really weird.
Speaker 1:So the baby's got like big elbows. You can be like, oh, that's an elbow.
Speaker 2:Well, I can't like I can't specifically tell which limb is what, But you can feel when it's a difference of like oh, that's just a kick, or like their body is fully like turning inside of you. It's weird.
Speaker 1:It's the craziest thing. I wouldn't be about that.
Speaker 2:You'll never. you'll never experience it.
Speaker 1:So How dare you? That's just facts.
Speaker 2:How dare you. That's not an insult, did you just assume I can't be? pregnant Oh let's not open this door.
Speaker 1:Let's not Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've heard about Canada's new misgendering law, but you're screwed bud.
Speaker 1:I'm calling the police. You're going to jail for a long time. I can't with all that Oh my gosh, i just well, we just No let's leave it. No, I have to say this one We just saw that there was a.
Speaker 2:Transgender woman who won Miss Universe.
Speaker 1:Okay, i'm so confused all the time. It's a man. No, I understand that. I'm just always confused on a transgender woman is a. A man who identifies as a woman, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So, anyways, he won Miss Universe, which is like I feel sad for all of the women that are competing in that because it was stolen by a man. It's like a biological man. I don't want to get into this.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get heated. No, just hold on. It's just like women can't even win at being a woman anymore.
Speaker 2:It hurts me.
Speaker 1:Highlight of the day Classic.
Speaker 2:Terrible.
Speaker 1:Anyways.
Speaker 2:Lord bless these people and help them find the truth.
Speaker 1:Amen Yeah.
Speaker 2:Tonight we're talking we're going to try and keep it short, but we're talking about parenting style And we're obviously only speaking from our own experience of being parents for almost six years to almost four kids and just everything that comes with Tyler and myself being parents to our specific children. Right, We are. We are by no means experts in this field, Though I am writing a book Right. So we are, we are winging it on the daily.
Speaker 1:Here's my question though to be considered an expert. Actually, hold on, i'm going to Google this and I'll give you a saffle, just keep going. But I want to know how long you need to be doing something in order to be considered a professional. That's my question. So go ahead, i'm just going to look.
Speaker 2:Okay, our first question is when did we first discuss having kids and what did we talk about? So our first discussion of children was our first date, and we ate it or we didn't eat. We had a date at the keg. We didn't eat, we got drinks. The drink was watered down. It was terrible. Pretty sure the waitress hated us. Anyway, we had a. Really it's we. We were so busy just talking to each other that we just never ended up eating anything. Anyway, we started discussing kids and how many we each wanted, and I said like three or four, and you were just adamant about four, and we kind of just obviously rested on that number, because we are currently having number four. We're done after this, though, putting the cap on it.
Speaker 1:This far. We'll see how we feel after. No, no, no, no, i'm done. I'm done after this. Okay, before I get into that, apparently there is a 10,000 hour rule to be considered an expert, according to Gladwell, whatever that is.
Speaker 2:I feel like we've surpassed that for hours of parenting.
Speaker 1:Well Draven is six years old.
Speaker 2:He's six next month. Hold on.
Speaker 1:We're going to learn this together. Everybody, how many hours in six years? 52,560. We're experts, okay. So disclaimer, get your notepads out. Get your notepads because you're about to learn from some experts here. We're like five times experts. There you go, wow. So yeah, put that on the resume Wow.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we talked about numbers of kids. We talked about kids names which we've talked about kids names since we were dating to obviously having children because the discussion gets more real when you get pregnant. We're like, oh, we actually have to think about a name for a child, and what else do we talk about?
Speaker 1:I don't know. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. Yeah, that was the only one that really stuck out, though. Yeah, because that just seems like a super non or like not a normal thing to be talked about on a first date is kids.
Speaker 2:Well, there's just yeah, we don't need to need to get into all the dating things and what we did taboos, that the world is afraid of commitment and all this kind of stuff. It was just we discussed everything and that's why we didn't eat, because we were so busy talking.
Speaker 1:The world is so afraid of commitment that they can't even commit to their own gender.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh oh we got to stop. We got to stop with that.
Speaker 1:No more of those. No more of those jokes. They're definitely not hilarious.
Speaker 2:When did we have our first kid? When? how long into our, into our marriage?
Speaker 1:Yes, that sounds like a you question.
Speaker 2:So we got married in 2015. We got pregnant at the end of 2016, had driven in summer of 2017. So, almost into our second year of marriage, we had a baby. We had a baby going into our second year of marriage And my one.
Speaker 2:It's not a rule, just encouragement for all newlywed couples is I always suggest that you at least like our. Our agreement for ourselves was that we at least were married for a year before we had kids, and I always want to encourage people that, like you need to take whatever that timeframe looks like to you before you have kids. Take that time. If it's one year, do one year. If it's two or three or five or whatever, do all those years. So, yeah, tyler's taking pictures and it's throwing me off, sorry. Yes, so if, if you want to take that time, the only thing that I it's not a regret, but the only thing that I would do differently is take more advantage of our time before we had kids, because we were kind of frivolous in the beginning of our marriage and we didn't really plan a lot and didn't prep for the future.
Speaker 1:If you will, Per se perchance, Touche My word.
Speaker 2:But obviously we are very happy in our first year and a bit of marriage before we got pregnant and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:I love my life. Well, I would have.
Speaker 2:I would have vacationed more to like just gone away the two of us or whatever.
Speaker 1:And I think I'm more for stuff like that. I think you're remembering our finances quite differently than I am. Why? Because, how are we?
Speaker 2:gonna trip more, had money, we were just stupid with it, idiots. And so we did actually go on one vacation before we had a baby. But we had planned on having a baby, or like getting pregnant in Florida, which is our trip to Disney, tyler's first time to Disney. Right, we ended up getting pregnant before the trip, which does not suck. It sucked for me because I was sick the whole trip So I couldn't do any of the rides, couldn't do like. I was sick every day, i was nauseous every day, i was throwing up, i was, my feet were swollen, all this kind of stuff. So that was not fun. But you had a great time.
Speaker 1:My time was amazing.
Speaker 2:So, if anything, i just encourage that you take advantage of your time before you have kids, because you have kids forever.
Speaker 1:So true.
Speaker 2:Which I'm excited to go to Disney with our children.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And go on vacations with them. just in general, they will quite enjoy it. Yes.
Speaker 1:Or they might hate it. Who knows Who were we talking? Who did you tell me that they took their kids to Pastor?
Speaker 2:Glo Her kids. She said they didn't care, they wanted to go back to the hotel and just go to the pool. And I was like, oh my gosh, wow Again. That's another topic for another time, hey to each their own.
Speaker 2:Um, what did we learn from each of our parents that we wanted to take into teaching our own kids? So, obviously, when you get married, you come from two completely different parenting styles into one, like you're meshing what you learned what I learned And then you have to. it's not even that you sit down and like go over a playbook and are like, okay, we should do it like this and we do do this and not this and whatever. But there's obviously things from my parents that I would take and that I wouldn't take, or stuff from your side that you would and you wouldn't. Um, i'm trying to think of like one thing specifically that the question was that I would take.
Speaker 2:Yeah, from your parents.
Speaker 1:Um, well, obviously we took, or I took, any time there was an issue It was dealt with till it was dealt with, like we just sat down and hashed out till it was done.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There was no uh date, like days and days where it's just like tension and this, and that is just. there's an issue, We deal with it.
Speaker 2:And that's.
Speaker 1:that's what I'm about, And hard work. We were my mother sweet, innocent Debbie. Debbie does anything, do anything. Debbie, that's what we call her. Debbie does Dallas. See, that's the one she hates the most, because I'm pretty sure that's an adult film from like the nineties or something like that. Oh, debbie does Dallas, that's not great. It's hilarious.
Speaker 2:We'll see if she texts us later. Yeah, if she listens to her 14 exclamation marks.
Speaker 1:Um, but you know, we'd be set, we'd be sick or something like that, and we would still have to do yard work. And you know what I don't make our kids do that.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, because listen, so many people out there have a sniffle and they call them sick to work Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, our kids are not at the age where they can do those things, but at the like, the three and five year old that they are there.
Speaker 1:Okay, Well, she was. I wasn't two years old and she wasn't. No, no, no, no, no. I know.
Speaker 2:But like how, like that example would translate into there. They're up in the middle of the night and they're like my body hurts, i need a vitamin, or I have a cut that's not bleeding, i need a bandaid, and it's like, oh my gosh, you guys shake it off and go to bed. Right, we'll deal with it in the morning. Yeah, that's the equivalent of the age that we're dealing with right now.
Speaker 1:But I would bring the work ethic and like obviously I'm going to show our kids the work ethic and it's like so many people just get sick and it's like I need to just take four weeks off. I just need to get my head right. Four weeks And it's like I was taught just well you know what Work needs to be done, regardless of how you're feeling, and you just go and get it done. So that's one thing that they showed, but we have a balance of it.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's a balance, of course, obviously. I mean there was a. When I started working at a Troy shop there, i was probably the most sick I've ever been in my life And I was just like the point where I was passing out on the bathroom floor. He shouldn't have been working. Yeah, i shouldn't have been there, but I went in, i could. I could barely keep my eyes open, not because I was tired or anything is because they were.
Speaker 2:His body was like I need to rest. Yeah, Shut her down.
Speaker 1:I was like no, remember what do anything? Debbie told you. Man, i just tried to push through but then it was just like I cannot, i have to go home and I hate that. I hate going home if I'm like sick or something, cause it just seems like a waste. But being sick is such a waste of time And I hate it, whatever.
Speaker 1:Um, but yeah, they. There's a lot of things that I would take from my family, yeah, but but like you, yeah, like you said, you take the good. Honestly, you're just, you're not going to take any of the bad. No, you're not going to take the bad, but it's like you take from yours and theirs and you create your new normal. And that's something that your parents or your dad told me. It's like when you guys get married and whatnot, you take what you like from our side, you take what you like from your side and then you make your new normal. So, and that's that's what he did with his when he started the family. He basically started a new family tree or whatever it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And yeah he just I have taken, like the fact that Tyler and I have put a list together not like a physical list but in our heads or discussions of like non-negotiables for our family, like for our kids, and being held to a standard and just like having respect for people no matter what and not treating anybody any less than themselves and all this kind of stuff, cause there's no like hating people and whatever is taught So and that was, it was just never. It was never a thing in my life that was ever taught to us where it's like, yeah, we don't like this group of people for this reason, it was always just like God loves us, we love these people, that's it.
Speaker 1:So what's a non-negotiable for?
Speaker 2:the family. That's a question later.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll just hold on then.
Speaker 2:You just leave you on a cliffhanger right there. Just wait for a couple more questions and then we'll get onto it. Yeah, stay tuned Um oh nitty gritty. What does discipline look like for our family?
Speaker 1:Now, legally speaking, I don't think you can talk about discipline.
Speaker 2:Well, i'm not going to be in detail. Obviously, discipline looks very different for every single family. We have limits to what our children need and I'm not going to divulge online, but our children have boundaries, for their safety and for the reason that they need to thrive within those boundaries because children need boundaries.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They don't know their limitations, they don't know the dangers of things, and it is your job as the parent to look after them and guide them, because they don't know as much as you know, justicegcca says parents and caregivers who use reasonable force to correct a child's behavior will not be found guilty of assault, but if it harms the child in any blah blah blah.
Speaker 1:So let's just say we use reasonable force to correct our children's behavior.
Speaker 2:Well, one thing I heard from a different podcast about discussions about kids and parenting is as a parent, you need to be firm but kind, and I believe that we are that to our kids Right, because you do need to be firm. They are not allowed to run the show. They are not in charge of things. They need to be corrected and put in their place for certain things, but we are kind about it because we explained to them this is why you're not allowed to do this. We do not touch the hot stove because it will burn our fingers.
Speaker 2:Like right There's just yeah, so let's leave it at that. You want to have a discussion with us more in depth? We will do it later, not online.
Speaker 1:Um, i had a thought but you kept going. Sorry, it's fine, oh the uh. When you said like the Firm, but kind, yes, it just makes me think of like being suit, like super firm, super kind when you're like in a shopping place because you're like yes, You don't want to cause a scene in public.
Speaker 2:You're like Draven, come here right now. Yes, your teeth are gritted and you're just. you're looking at them with their eyes and you're like shaking your head at them, but they're just. yeah, we've all been there. Don't even try and hide it.
Speaker 1:When I see a kid losing their mind and the parents just like just giving up.
Speaker 2:I just laugh I get it.
Speaker 1:Hey, you'll feel defeated in those times, and that is what it is. You can't stop, you can't stop, you can't lose, we never lose with our kids Never.
Speaker 2:I will outstubber them 100% well, there's also the biblical ways of you know how we want to raise our children and it's training up a child the way that they should go, and when they're older they won't depart from it. So it's like we. There is a biblical standard that we want to raise our kids to uphold in their lives and in the people that they influence, and then obviously, in their marriage and then their kids lives. It always goes back to God Right, because he knows what's best for us and his order is always the best.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So at the root of it, all biblical principles, right? Does each child respond the same way towards love, languages or correction or all that kind of stuff? Nope, absolutely not. Ours, don't? We have three children.
Speaker 1:But then again, we are experts.
Speaker 2:We have three children, last one on the way. Not one of our children handle love like affection or anything, or correction the same way. Draven is very emotional. He's our oldest and he's the only boy. Um, as far as we know, we don't know what we're having. The last one just FYI, don't get it in your heads Anybody. Um, but yes, he's very emotionally driven. He's very passive and he's very sensitive about things, but he's very driven and like a people person and he loves to learn things, all this kind of stuff. So intellectual, that was the word I was looking for.
Speaker 2:And then Scarlet, on the other hand, is okay, she's only, she's gonna be four in a couple days, but her age is very scatterbrained. But she does not focus the way that Draven does. Right, she is very all over the place, she's very fidgety. She cannot sit still for the life of her. She's super outgoing, but she's very outgoing.
Speaker 2:She will bang on our car window and like try and get other people's attention in their vehicles to say hi to them, or if we're in the drive-thru, she screams bye or like is talking about her purse that she just got or whatever, like she is very much a people person and she's outgoing about it and but she has her moments of being reserved. Yes, because she needs to, like make sure that the person is safe to talk to you, based on how you or I interact with them, right. And then Zara, our baby. She's only one, she'll be two in November and she's a wild child. She started out super passive and chill and just a delight for a third baby, which all of our children were. Good, they're babies, but she was. We just thought she would be so relaxed and so laid back and she's just polar opposite of that. She is. She thinks she's hilarious, she thinks everything people do are hilarious.
Speaker 2:She is hilarious but like she for sure is like gonna be the class clown because she just loves to make people laugh, she loves to be goofy and silly and so, yeah, handling each of them and how we correct them in a situation, in their behavior towards each other or whatever, is just like they just all take it so differently. So you have to recognize, as your kids grow from baby to child, and figuring out all these things, you have to recognize what their needs are, like what, what affection they need, because sometimes me just yelling at Scarlett, for you know her making a mess of something it doesn't get through She needs to be like you need to get down on her level, literally on her level, and like hug her, talk her through it and then do do the work with her or whatever. So it's just, it's, it's all about figuring it out, how they are and how they receive it, because and it'll change as they grow too So the answer for that is no.
Speaker 1:Not every child responds the same.
Speaker 2:Right, what are some non-negotiables? Oh yes, for our parenting style, so we've got family time, screen time, what they watch or listen to, going to church, stuff like that. So for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, going to church is a non-negotiable Right, and I'm not saying that as like a crazy person. That's like crazy religious person, Yeah a crazy religious person.
Speaker 2:That's like we always go to church, but it's like we actually genuinely love going to church every Sunday, right, and our kids do too. Yeah, and it's not just for the appearance of going to church, it's because we contribute to our church and we want to make sure that we're serving and we're loving on people that are broken and we are getting.
Speaker 2:we are getting healed from things that sometimes come up in life and we've got a community around us that we know is safe and that will help build us up to keep us moving forward. Right, so church is a non-negotiable.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, if I think that, if church, if you don't show that church is a priority, they'll grow up and it will be optional.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, and we never want that for our kids. We always we don't want them to carry on our faith.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we want them to build their own relationship with Jesus and build off of it themselves, because Tyler and I are never going to reach a point where we're like we're good with God, we've had our fill, we know what's what and we don't need to do all the things. I will never get to that point in life. I always need him and I fail constantly, and it is what it is True. What does it mean to shelter our kids?
Speaker 1:To put a roof over their head.
Speaker 2:So they're out of the wind Great. Next question To shelter.
Speaker 1:I feel like actually that's not true. I feel like you and Felicity got more flack for being sheltered than I did as a homeschooled person.
Speaker 2:Yes and no.
Speaker 1:Because I, like I wasn't sheltered by any means. Okay, how do I say this? I was like mom sheltered me from many things, yes, many, many things, and she did an amazing job, yes, but like I wasn't sheltered to the point of where I didn't know about things in the world and like stuff that people did and how people can be, and like I was in construction when I was three and a half years old and I just no, i was just going to town, but I was around. I was around all the things.
Speaker 2:You were exposed?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was exposed to certain things and like so. Whereas we weren't, but D'Bora did the best that she could and sheltered me from many, many things. Yes, way to go, debbie. Do anything, debbie, yeah.
Speaker 2:Shelter for my family like me, and my siblings for sure was like being aware of what we were watching and like in movies or TV shows or on the internet. and keep in mind we didn't have all the social media stuff that you guys all do now. when we were kids We didn't have social media We had a stick and a rock. No, no, we did play outside a lot more than a lot of children nowadays. We used to get mud between our toes, But it was more like what. I'll stop it.
Speaker 1:I just keep going. I'm trying to melt leaves. I love how you just didn't react to it at all.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to melt leaves I get mud between my toes. Okay, No, but for Tyler being exposed to certain things of just the atmosphere that he was around because of his dad or his mom or whatever, not not blaming them Right, But like because of his work, whatever you're exposed to different things.
Speaker 1:Don't put it on my mom, because she's still laughing. He can get mad at me. Put it on dad. He's gone. What is he going to say? You?
Speaker 2:got me off.
Speaker 1:I'm going to apologize, i just have to make sure you weren't not blaming.
Speaker 2:I'm not blaming anybody, okay.
Speaker 1:I got you Debbie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we were sheltered in the sense of, like I didn't learn about sex until grade eight or nine, which that's not normal In the world. Now they're trying to teach it in like grades three, three to five, which that is just absurd to me, right, because they're trying to take all these children's innocence is, but I don't want to get into that either, cuz I'm just gonna get heated.
Speaker 1:Go see some freedom. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's all um, but yeah, there We were sheltered in the sense of like we didn't, we were not exposed to anything on the computer like. The first time that somebody Introduced porn was at a children's birthday party, right, which is super messed up and like. I Saw it briefly and I was like nope, this is disgusting and I do not understand why your Parents are okay with you watching this and why the heck would you put it on at your birthday party.
Speaker 2:Right like it was just and I I had the conviction of the Holy Spirit right away Where I was just like I don't want that part of my life and I never invited it in, so it was having being sheltered in that sense of like I do not want things That separate me from God to be part of my life And I knew that, like I learned that myself from a young age of like preteen, where I made the decision where I was just like I don't want this stuff.
Speaker 2:It's disgusting right and I like being pure and being kept pure is like. It's such a cliche early Young Christian thing to do and say and like you'll laugh or not, but like Felicity and I wore parody rings for all of our teenage years.
Speaker 1:That's no, that's that no sex flex.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no sex flex no strip drip.
Speaker 2:We didn't actually even get that much hate from it. We got a lot of respect out of it, right, and maybe they made fun of us behind closed doors, who knows. Like in high school Especially, everybody would just question us about why we believe what we believe and why we act the way we act, or like Why we wear a ring on our finger and all this kind of stuff, and we would just plainly tell them why and they actually like We're like Admire, like they're admiring us about our decisions. So it's just like People gave us a lot more respect than hate because they're like oh, i kind of wish I would do stuff like that, because they were all fooling around and we didn't learn about all the terms of things until later in our life, which I appreciate That my parents didn't allow all these things to happen mom, dad, what's hanky-panky?
Speaker 1:Essentially, yeah. So, fire, you're getting more married tomorrow. You need to figure this out.
Speaker 2:Yes, i can happily say I learned all the things in my wonderful marriage, and there's no other way that I do that, because I showed you a thing. Don't you know what I'm saying? You learn to their buddy boy.
Speaker 1:Would you learn me?
Speaker 2:Stop it.
Speaker 1:We have, four, we have four children coming.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's, let's just say we've got it figured out a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got. You can get it done in under a minute alright, how involved?
Speaker 2:Okay, so anyway, no, no, i want to stop it.
Speaker 1:Oh, i'm to finish sheltering, so for us, for us, for our kids.
Speaker 2:I absolutely it's our job to maintain their innocence, right, especially with how much more sin, saturated and like social media Exposes everything nowadays, right?
Speaker 2:I, we, like we have to weigh more protect our kids than our parents ever did with us for this type of stuff, because social media is pushing everything. They're pushing stuff in stores that we just don't agree with. They're pushing stuff in schools or books or whatever. And I just we more so have to be aware of what we are allowing into our kids' lives and we want to make sure that They're surrounded by the right people and parents and friends and all this kind of stuff. And if there's people that are questionable, that we don't Agree with how they're living or whatever, we just need to plainly explain that to our kids. Like this is why You can't go over to someone's house, which we're not there yet, but like it's gonna come up, and we just want to be honest with our kids. Like There's too much evil in the world and we it's just not worth Opening any doors right into their lives. So that's what sheltering means to me for our kids right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't go over to that person's house, cuz they that do. Just one miss America.
Speaker 2:Whoa, that's your last one that's guaranteed.
Speaker 1:My last one I don't believe you.
Speaker 2:How involved should a parent be? what boundaries?
Speaker 1:are we setting listen, though, before we pass the whole child away? I forget who I was talking to, but they were like They were saying well, i don't want to shelter my kids because I want them to like be able to handle things and Be able to know what to do, and blah, blah, blah. And I can see the logical standpoint of that, i can. I can see it's like well, i don't want to shelter my kid from you know, like Doing yard work, because when he grows up, i want him to learn how to do, know how to do yard work. I can, i can understand like you don't want to shelter them from certain things because you want them to learn how to handle it. I get that, but look at this bull crap that we are dealing with these days.
Speaker 2:It's not the same as What we had all ten years ago.
Speaker 1:It's not the same, yep. It's like when you think Sheltering somebody, you think, oh, they never.
Speaker 2:I was like they never experienced anything.
Speaker 1:No, no but like you didn't watch a rated R movie or you were so sheltered, Yeah it's like, yeah, like that is a form of sheltering, but it's like when I, when we talk sheltering now, it's like we're sheltering our kids from the Crap of the world, mm-hmm, like sheltering our kids is, if there's a certain Storytime reading at the library, we're sheltering them from going to that bull crap, because is that? that's nothing they need to be a part of? Mm-hmm and so we're keeping their innocence.
Speaker 2:Because it's our job to protect that yeah and they will be exposed to everything at some point in their life And they will be equipped enough to handle it when they get to that point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the whole story times at the library was that's friggin drag Queen show or whatever. Yeah, i, i I'm calling this okay, i'm putting this out there. This is where this is what's gonna happen. There's gonna be probably like Pull dancing for toddlers, because it's a great exercise There already is stuff like that. Oh gosh mean stuff. Okay, praise, oh my goodness, Yeah, anyways, but like they're just so much crap And it's like I will shelter my kids from all this garbage, no Problem.
Speaker 2:I'm not handing them over to the world. No, that's just, that's the non-negotiable. They have a plan and a purpose God created them for. They have giftings that they're gonna be using in their life. I am not turning them over to be like, yeah, let's see what the world has to offer first, and then maybe We'll talk about Jesus.
Speaker 1:That's just not an option the world ain't got no Riz. Oh, it's been a lame sense day one.
Speaker 2:There it is How involved should a parent be? what boundaries are we setting? I Believe a parent should be involved at all times, because that was one thing that I can take from my side is that, yes, there's things Okay, as you get older and you get married and all this kind of stuff. Yes, those strings become less and less because you are in your own family, all this kind of stuff. But as far as being involved in the sense of, like I'm not saying your parents are reading your diaries and invading all your whatever, but you do not have a right to privacy under your parents' roof because they created you and they're allowed to know what's going on, especially if it's concerning, and you ain't paying for a dang thing there.
Speaker 2:But I don't believe. Well, i do think that at times a lot of parents just get frustrated with their teenagers and then just wash their hands of them.
Speaker 1:Now, we're not experts on teenagers.
Speaker 2:Not experts on teenagers. We don't have teenagers. We are not experts on teenagers, from what I've seen from certain TLC shows Things.
Speaker 1:No, I don't even watch TLC.
Speaker 2:I don't even think TLC well no, tlc is still on.
Speaker 1:We don't have it. And what I picked up from MTV 16 and pregnant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tv is for sure real, so No I mean technically it is real.
Speaker 1:Okay, TV is a real thing.
Speaker 2:Any.
Speaker 1:You don't believe in TV.
Speaker 2:No, anyway, a lot of people wash their hands of teenagers because they don't want to deal with all the emotional problems and things that they're trying to figure out about their life, that they just back off of them completely And they leave them. And it's like that's when they need you the most, because they don't know what they're doing. Their body is physically changing, they're trying to figure out what they want to do and where they want to be, and all this kind of stuff, and you just leave them high and dry. That's just not okay. That's why I believe that parents should be involved in your life and be like what can I help you with? Like do you need a hug? Like all this kind of stuff. So, like the boundaries, for sure, there and again, can't really speak for my experience because we only have an up to six year old right now Those scarlet acts like she's 14.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, she's so sure She's something, she's a blessing. She's a blessing, but it's the dynamic and the boundaries adjust as they grow. But you still need to be involved because you love them and you care about them and you want what's best for them.
Speaker 1:I think involved, yes, but maybe not always hands on, because they need to deal with some stuff themselves.
Speaker 2:Problem solving skills They need to problem solve for themselves. You are teaching them and they are capable of handling them and they need to know that at some point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean I think each parent has a different type of approach to that, because it's like even in our own situation where it's like Dravy wants to go and jump off this certain thing He can't not climb on something, yeah, but like he wants to go, do that And your instinct is no you'll get hurt.
Speaker 1:So you're involving yourself and be like, no, he'll get hurt, no, he shouldn't do that. But then there's the other side of it, where it's like I am involved because I'll be right here to catch him if he falls. But he also has to learn how to do it. He has to learn his own values and capabilities of it. I'm involved but hands off.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's a good way. Certain things, yes, that's a good way to put it, Involved 100% of the time.
Speaker 1:hands on, hands off some of the times. Yeah, yeah, i'd be a good pastor if I could just make things rhyme. Because I feel like to be a good pastor. You just need to say, like smart things, but like somehow make it rhyme. Right, if you're going to devote your time, you got to get seven dimes. Now, what are the seven dimes?
Speaker 2:No stop it.
Speaker 1:I said can I, can I preach for a second? Oh amen.
Speaker 2:Displaying a healthy marriage means your kids get to see how you handle things. What I don't know? Just seven. Stop it.
Speaker 1:Stop it. Seven dimes and people would just be like, wow, wow, yeah.
Speaker 2:Why are you from the south? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I just feel like bishops are from the south. That reminds me of Tim Hawkins. When he's like, he's like all you churchgoers just love like series. You're all about the series He's like in our next series called How to be a Twinkie in a Ding Dong World. It's just like it's so amazing, okay.
Speaker 2:Next question Okay, Displaying a healthy marriage means your kids get to see how you handle things Example fighting in front of them, how you talk to each other, how affectionate you are in front of them, et cetera.
Speaker 1:I guess fighting in front of them depends on how you fight in front of them. You could go in like four or five rounds.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say our fights, don't get physical.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just in the corner be like talking to James. Like I'm going to get it this time All right, ding, ding, here we go.
Speaker 2:Yes, but like fighting in front of your kids is like you. just I don't know. From our experience we don't really do it. We've argued in front of our kids, but if it just gets too, it doesn't even get heated. If it just gets too like we're both just getting agitated, we just back off for a little bit.
Speaker 1:I think because it happens sometimes they're just there and you have an argument or whatever. I think the rule of thumb should be if they see you fight, they should see you make up. Yeah, because I just think of it as the same as like if you you had an argument with your spouse and you went to somebody and you told them about your argument and then you come back and you deal with it with your spouse and everything's okay, but you didn't like tell the other person like everything's okay. That person will see that the spouse differently.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's like just how your kids see you.
Speaker 2:Well, it also goes hand in hand with how you talk about your spouse two people and in front of your children, because if you're frustrated with your spouse, you don't need to vent to your kids that daddy's being a butt head Or whatever It's just you don't need to do that because then Your dad's got dookie for brains.
Speaker 2:Well then it just gives them permission to like think that way of their dad Or talk that way to him or about him, and it's like I don't want that. They love their dad, they love their mom. I want to make sure that they have a respect.
Speaker 1:They want to be in a happy home all day long.
Speaker 2:You were trying to rhyme, i was.
Speaker 1:They love their dad, they love their mom.
Speaker 2:They want to be in a happy home all day long, but it isn't for you. You can't even let me finish the rhyme.
Speaker 1:You couldn't give me two fricking seconds.
Speaker 2:Stop, rhyming Stop rhyming.
Speaker 1:It's all about the timing.
Speaker 2:Yes, some of the time. Stop no more rhymes. Now I mean it. Anybody want to pee in it?
Speaker 1:I'll endure the giant.
Speaker 2:Princess bride.
Speaker 1:Oops, no, that's wrong. I lied, stop it.
Speaker 2:No, but like how you talk to each other, especially on the daily. It's so important because your kids see that and they talk to you that way.
Speaker 1:Right, and that's not okay. Sorry, you're not, though You're not, sorry, that's the thing.
Speaker 2:Can't even, can't even end it on it. Um, this kind of what. Don't you dare. This kind of goes hand in hand with like boundaries, and how involved should you be? Do you eventually need to back off from quote unquote parenting your kids when they reach a certain age? We can only speak from the experience of the dynamic we have with our parents, because our kids are not old and married in no way from us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're not even old enough to ride a bus.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, i if you could see, if you can see the video of the two of us, it's it's late and our day has been so busy. What makes it so good?
Speaker 1:I'm rubbing my head.
Speaker 2:What makes it so good is that what I said makes sense, he literally is bursting, like his teeth will explode if he doesn't say it, if he holds it in.
Speaker 1:Don't try to think of a ride, don't what you hate when I grin and you? okay, let's just wrap this up.
Speaker 2:Do you eventually need to back off? Um yes and no.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's the same thing.
Speaker 2:It's a hard thing.
Speaker 1:It's a hard thing, as like being involved, but like hands off.
Speaker 2:It's like there will never be a moment where I just back off Your kids are always going to need you But, like, when they get go off and get married, it's we can speak from our marriage You get. You get to a place where you're just like, let me figure it out, like back off, let me figure it out for a bit. And we obviously always go back because we're like, hey, we actually still need our parents, but they're not involved on our daily life to help us do things. But they're always there.
Speaker 1:I think something coming against my kid, I will never back off. If I voice my opinion to my grown up child and they've decided to do it their way, I'll back off. But if there's something coming against my grown up child or anything, I'll never back off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just discernment, like obviously if your child is going down a path you don't want them to go, you would stick by their side and be like, hey, i-.
Speaker 1:That's a no-no.
Speaker 2:He's not going to. let us end this properly. You keep cutting me off my train of thought and I'm losing it. And this is the last question Trying to think of a rhyme. Yes, yes, somewhat a time. What Y'all a cat in the hat. Well, that is from Princess Bride. That's what Andre says. Anyway, I think you got the gist of what we were trying to say. So, let's just end it, because Tyler is gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're not wrong. Let us pray, let us pray.
Speaker 2:No, why We don't need to pray That?
Speaker 1:yeah, oh wow, we don't need to pray.
Speaker 2:What's our recap?
Speaker 1:Of.
Speaker 2:This whole topic.
Speaker 1:Kids Parenting.
Speaker 2:Have kids. Have them when you're ready. Have them when you steady.
Speaker 1:Have them. Have them, green eggs and ham. Thank you, sam, i am, we're done.
Speaker 2:You guys, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1:Once you start rhyming, it's hard.
Speaker 2:Are you done? I can't recap. I'm done. My brain is dry.
Speaker 1:The recap is have kids, have them when You think you're in agreement with your spouse when you should. Yeah, love them, trust God, give them reasonable physical correction, as per say the government of dot ca.
Speaker 2:Unconditional love, which is easier said than done.
Speaker 1:Right. Always Trust that he'll protect them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you go ahead.
Speaker 1:I can't. You're trying to rhyme. Yeah, you're trying to rhyme Yes, you are.
Speaker 2:I'm upset that I cut you off, because I'm cutting off your rhymes.
Speaker 1:Most of the time.
Speaker 2:Too many times that's been used, so it doesn't work All right?
Speaker 1:Well, maybe you should get up and just twerk. On that note, it's God.
Speaker 2:Thankful for our kids. They are challenging and exciting.
Speaker 1:That's where challenged and we're excited, praise God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i hope you enjoyed this one, even though we're a little bit all over the place. Yeah stay tuned for next week. Don't know what it'll be about, so, and if you want to shout out, message us. We will always do a shout out, yeah. And sponsor us and sponsors The murder.
Speaker 1:You got to sponsor us. If you want merged, you got to give us enough money to get Merch.
Speaker 2:We don't know what kind of merchant, but you'll get it Just random Merch. It's not even about us.
Speaker 1:Frick, do we have a yo-yo?
Speaker 2:That's.
Speaker 1:Chick-fil-A, that's our merch. We bought it, but I pop up McDonald's.
Speaker 2:You got to go to bed, guys. Yes, good night.
Speaker 1:Good night, good night.
